Between Two Suns
by VirtualMadness
Summary: (Post TROS) Rey is dealing with the aftermath of losing Ben, yet she can still feel him out there, somewhere as he calls to her. Determined and angry with the force, Rey takes it upon herself to do whatever it takes to bring him back - Using both the light and the dark sides of the force. (Rated M for sexual chapters)
1. Chapter 1

The land was quiet, a lot more than usual. The hot wind seemed frozen along the sand, stuck in time as the suns began to set, giving a small break to the flesh it burned.

It was settling in now, how alone she was, how the force seemed to betray her, hiding the only thing she truly wanted.

It had been two weeks now since her arrival on Tatooine, giving her time to recover from the fight against Palpatine – A name she also refused to be branded with. With her recovery, she took the time to honor Luke and Leia by laying their sabers to rest, together, always.

And though she was happy that the war was ended, Rey couldn't help but feel a deep pang of regret, knowing that it wasn't worth her loss...

With a quick, drunken shake of her head, Rey sneered at herself as she took another swig from the bottle of Corellian wine she'd found on the Flacon.

She'd never touched this type of drink all her life, and now, it seemed as if it would be the only company she'd get for a long while.

Deep down, Rey knew she had her friends waiting for her to go home, to always love and support her in every way they could offer. However, she needed time to mourn the loss of Leia, to truly recover from the fight with Palpatine, and to...

She gulped as her eyes glossed over with more tears while she stared into the deep emptiness of the desert planet, the dark of the night beginning to surround her more and more.

Rey silently cursed herself, unable to believe that she couldn't even think of his face, or say his name, without tears being shed and her body trembling with a sob.

When it first happened, when he disappeared into nothing, Rey had seemed so hopeful, so sure that this was not the end, and even now, there was part of her that still believed it to be true.

It had to be... She felt him out there, somewhere.

He hadn't come to her as a force ghost, hadn't spoken to her mind, hadn't offered her guidance, or console her.

She felt, deep down, that he, too, was recovering – Though when she would try to pinpoint his location in her mind and through the force, their connection produced more static and unease, as if the force refused to let her in, to give her answers and ensure her that her bonded was okay.

Again, Rey hissed as she took another sip, closing her eyes to relive it for just a moment, to feel alive again;

His hair was softer than she had thought, and his cheek was warm, so, so warm... His eyes seemed to admire her, and she doesn't think anyone has ever looked at her in such a way, and it gives her hope... It fills her with hope... that maybe a scavenger like her could truly be loved, that maybe this bond did mean more to him than she had guessed.

She believed for a long while that maybe he just wanted her for the power she held... And maybe she was convincing herself of that... But now, there was no denying that he cared for her just as she cared for him, that together, they were no longer single beings in this galaxy, but instead two pieces of their own puzzle that fit together so perfectly...

And the way he held her... Softly, as if he feared he'd hurt her, but tight enough to not let go...

A small sob escaped her lips, and Rey realized her cheeks were soaked with tears...

He'd been so gentle and patient with her... Letting her take the lead, waiting until she moved towards him to taste his lips, to give him her first kiss...

And the smile that followed, the toothy grin he hadn't given to anyone else all his life, was left to Rey to marvel and mourn, all the same for the rest of her days in the lonely, lonely galaxy.

( X )

Groggy.

Heavy.

Sore.

He couldn't decide what he felt more, but what he felt with alongside each of her choices, was tired.

Ben Solo woke up slowly, his eyes taking in his surroundings, simply looking around to see if anything felt familiar, if anything would give him a sign of if he were truly alive, or if...

He couldn't bring himself to say it.

Gulping, his dry throat caused him to cough as he sat up, his movements slow and almost dreamlike.

That's when he realized.

With his eyes widening and his breathing becoming a hard huff, Ben stood on his feet, surprised to see that he could stand at all as he looked around, only to see that he was surrounded by some of the smallest and biggest stars of the galaxy, lighting his path to a ball of white and blue in the far distance.

With a racing heart, Ben moved to step forward, still shocked to be able to move with no flooring, yet it still worked.

'Have faith, kid.' a voice whispered to his mind.

Ben whipped around, not seeing anything or anyone nearby.

Gulping, he stepped again, this time taking a glance down to his torso and saw that his clothes were new and whole with the previous holes and tears gone and black and dark grey colors taking its place, and his skin and hair, too, felt washed and clean.

Another hesitant step on the invisible floor.

Ben asked himself what had happened, where he was...The fact that he did not have the answer irritated him to no end.

With another step, his mind flashed with memories as he moved, but the face of Rey caused him to freeze, stumbling over his own feet.

He had saved her, he was capable of it, and he did it.

Ben's mouth twitched with a smile at the corner of his lips.

He had saved Rey, and she was okay...And she allowed him to hold her, to look at her and take in every feature openly, without shame or the need to hide beneath his mask.

She was absolutely beautiful, even with dirt and sweat stuck to her warm skin, she was the most gorgeous thing he'd ever seen.

And in the next moment, she'd moved to touch him, gently, as if he were never the monster he once was, as if he were a man that was deemed worthy enough to earn her love...

She returned his stare, studying him and memorizing his face over and over until it was burned in her mind... And then she smiled, a wide, hopeful smile, that caused him to lose himself within her eyes once again.

He never thought it would actually happen...That she would actually allow it...

But it was Rey that moved towards him, and it was Rey that kissed him, and his arms immediately moved to hold her tighter, to never let go and to never let this moment escape them.

He was hers, and she was his, and this was all he needed for the rest of his life; Just Rey.

And what happened after that? He wondered...

Before his mind could tell him, before he could relive it, his body already knew and began to move, faster this time as he shed the fear of the invisible floor, moving fast to find whatever answers he could.

Ben's heart beat faster by the second, and he knew right then...

He knew he had died, being held by the woman he loved, by the woman he gave his life to save.

The realization of this made him nearly slide to a stop as he glanced to the ground and tried to keep down the knot in his stomach.

Was it true?

Ben's hand balled into a helpless fist at his side.

He decided that, though he was sore all over, he didn't feel dead.

With cold, hard eyes, Ben looked up into the distance and eyed the rumbling ball of blue that seemed to draw in energy, with gleams of white peeking through. It was bright, and electrifying, and oh, so enticing...

He made his way to it, never blinking even when he approached it, completely transfixed, and when his large hand slowly reached up to touch the center, everything around him went black.

( X )

"He's fine-"

"It was a rougher landing than what we had thought-"

"Well, what do we know? You used the force to bring him here-"

"Oh, so this is my fault?-"

"No one ever said that, I'm just sayi-"

"Will you two stop?-"

"Shh! He's waking up!"

Ben Solo's eyes slowly opened, blinking a few times to try and brush the grogginess away, and to keep the bright out as he woke beneath a warm, clouded sun.

"Mmmph..." His throat grumbled as he sat up, clutching his head, the sore aches rolling back to his body, questioning himself about what had happened, and what that blue ball of energy was.

Sitting up now, Ben glanced around with narrowed eyes, only to find that he was laying on the top of a grassy hill.

'Ben...' a small, broken voice whimpered in the back of his mind, so soft and delicate that he nearly missed it, but he recognized the owner immediately.

Shooting to his feet, Ben whipped around, eager to find the source.

"Rey!" He yelled, his own voice piercing the empty wind.

Behind him, a presence formed, outlined with light blue energy, a force ghost that made up of Luke Skywalker.

"Ben," he called, his hands holding one another at his front.

Ben turned around, his eyes confused, just as his emotions were at seeing his uncle, and at one time, his teacher and master.

He thought he'd be upset at the thought alone, of seeing the old man again after their battle on Crait. He thought he'd seek out revenge, and to end the man so much that his ghost would never even be able to reappear.

But now, faced with the reality of standing only feet away, he stood confused above all else.

Gulping, Ben's chin barely raised as he spoke. "Where am I? What is this place?"

Luke offered a small smile. "It can be whatever you want it to be."

Ben bit the inside of his cheek, unsatisfied with the answer. "Am I dead? Is that what happened?" He demanded, though his voice broke at the end.

Luke took a step towards his nephew, his smile fading into something similar to sorrow and unease. "In a way."

Starting to feel the knot return with hot, frustrated tears that brimmed his eyes, Ben turned on his heel to turn away from his uncle as he composed himself.

"And... and Rey?" he asked, blinking the tears away as Luke softly spoke behind him.

"She's... She's alive, because of you."

Relief flooded Ben, just as the cold sadness followed, his desire to be with her, to love her and be loved by her, swallowed whole by the harsh reality that he couldn't be there to do so.

The realization caused him to inhale sharply as he glanced down, slowly nodding to himself. "Good. She deserved it." he whispered, meaning every word with an absolute truth even though his heart ached.

"You did a great thing, Ben. It takes more sacrifice and strength than anyone could know. It was selfless, and in your sacrifice, you earned your place here."

Ben scoffed now, looking out over the land of green grass.

Luke continued, "I know it isn't easy for you, and it won't be. But-"

"Why is it that you care now? Why are you here, wherever this place is? You hated me- you hated who I was." Ben turned, cutting Luke off as the angry tears returned with his face red and features confused.

Luke allowed him to go on, not wanting to push any further. The time here was delicate, and the Jedi master knew that he could jeopardize Ben's recovery if the boy was pushed too far.

"I never hated you." Ben turned around again, and sneered as he rubbed his face into the sleeve of his dark robes. "It's true, I never hated you. I was afraid for your future, and I was afraid of the darkness that loomed around you. I did not act right when I was faced with my fear, and by the time I realized this, it was too late."

Luke moved to stand at Ben's side as he went on. "I can only apologize, and carry the guilt with me until my absolute final days – But it will happen, I will always have that guilt of believing in the dark more than the light that resided in you. And in the end, when all is said and done, after everything – I couldn't be prouder."

The last part of his statement made Ben turn to Luke, his brows knitting together as he met his uncle's eyes as he continued. "You were faced with the darkest evil, even raised by it as a young child. And you overcame it all, you let the light in, and you let it win. You saved what you loved, and redeemed yourself without any one's help.-"

At this, Ben turned to Luke, shooting hot daggers from his eyes as the anger built, however Ben did take notice in the way the force did not rattle around as it once did.

"Right. No one came to me in my time of need, regardless of whatever choice I made, good or bad. Any one of you could've saved Rey! But you were all cowards, and I did what had to be done!"

Again, Luke let him go on, waiting until the dust settled around them before he spoke. "It was not our time."

Ben straightened, looking off into the distance as he scoffed before raking a hand down his face in frustration. "And now is?"

Luke unclasped his hands and held them out in a helpless, but reassuring shrug. "It is as the force allows it." He rests his arms back at his sides as he continues. "Ben, your physical body has died, but you are here in this world, a world between worlds if you will. You have not yet become one with the force, thanks to your mother."

Ben's ears seemed to perk up, his demeanor seeming to soften a bit as his eyes scanned the area before meeting Luke's. "My mother?"

Luke nods, "Yes. She, too, passed, though her force waited to leave her body until the moment when you gave your last breath, and in this, saved you before you fully left that world, capturing your force and leading you here to recover."

Ben didn't realize he was holding his breath until his temple began to throb and, in a rush, he exhaled.

"She..." Ben began in a low tone, clenching his jaw as if his own tongue refused to let him say the words, still suffering through the battles his own mind formed.

Refusing to bow to his thoughts, he forced the question, a quiet whisper that Luke barely heard. "She saved me?"

Luke's shoulders softly lost their tension at his nephew's disbelief.

The boy still deemed himself unworthy.

"Yes. Without a second thought."

The air settled then, and with it, the last traces of the hold that Kylo Ren had on Ben Solo's mind.

( X )

When she woke, she saw him lying there in bed, his skin clean and soft, his features just as gentle as his sleep began to wear off. Sensing her stare, his eyes slowly opened, meeting hers.

He offered her a toothy smile that melted her heart, and her own lips spread wide as she looked up at him dreamily.

She blinked and the dream ended, her room growing loud with static as it rang in the truth that she was alone, with the hot air settling around her, roughing her skin up and dragging her away from the only thing she wanted.

Turning onto her side, Rey curled her arm beneath her head and let the tears fall as her body shook.

( X )

"I want to see her."

Luke slowly blinked, not expecting this so soon.

"Your mother?" He asked, to make sure.

Ben shook his head. "No... No, not yet. I'm not ready for that... I want to see her, Rey."

He turned to meet Luke's eyes, who was contemplating. "I'm not sure if-"

"I will find a way." Ben said, threateningly.

Luke's eyes narrowed before he inhaled, speaking with a stern tone this time. "Ben, if you over exert yourself, there's a very big chance that you will not recover, and you won't be able to go back to her, or become one with the force."

Ben's chin twitched at this, his mouth forming into an almost pout the way it usually did when he was given an obstacle. His voice dripped with venom, but he features nearly begged Luke.

"Please. I've recovered enough to be able to stand here, to talk to you."

Again, Luke's hands clasped one another at his front as he frowned. The older man never thought that he would be here now, to be the one welcoming his nephew into this world between worlds, to be able to hold an actual conversation, though he knew it was almost cheating. Nothing was truly resolved, but in the moment, it didn't need to be.

Tapping into the force, letting the soft whispers of its wind speak to him, Luke knew what would be allowed.

"...You will not do it... you will not show yourself, but you can join me... You can see her, but she cannot see you."

Ben took a long, eager step to Luke. "Yes-"

"Ben," Luke held a hand up to pause him. "Time... Time works differently here. It may feel like only an hour, but to Rey, it's been weeks. She's still..."

Luke looked for the words as Ben's brows knitted together. "What is it?"

His uncle gave a heavy sigh, "She's still grieving. The loss of both you and Leia hasn't been sitting well with her. She's sad, and upset, and angry... She was hopeful at one point, but that light is starting to dwindle."

Ben shook his head, confused. "Why not tell her I'm okay? That I'm here?" His confusion began to turn into frustration.

"We can't. Your return to her is still completely up to the force... To give her even the possibility of false hope could cause her to spiral, more than it already is."

Ben's heart sank. "When will I know that I can return? If I can?"

"When you're fully recovered, and when the force settles within you."

With that, Luke turned his back to Ben, closing his eyes as his mind entwined with the energy that was made within the force, allowing it to consume him and lead him when he needed to go.

( X )

The following morning, Rey gathered her belongings and began to make her way back to the Falcon that had been landed only a few clicks away.

She was tired of this place, tired of the silence, and tired of the sand. She couldn't take it anymore, and while she was grateful for getting the chance to honor both Luke and Leia, Rey was desperate to get as far away from Tatooine as possible.

On her way out of the abandoned clay home she'd been staying in, Rey was abruptly stopped by the same old woman that asked her of her name when she first arrived.

"Leaving?" The woman asked.

Rey paused her movement letting her sack drop to the sand before answering. "Yes, I am." She said, squinting against the sun's lights.

The woman offered a single nod of understanding. "Oh. Mourning a loved one?"

The question made Rey tense up as she timidly met the woman's eyes, who merely pointed to the home behind Rey.

Rey slowly inhaled before answering. "Yes... A few." She bent to pick up her bag to hide the embarrassed blush that began to spread across her cheeks.

Was she truly crying that loudly?

She didn't care to think of the answer.

"Well, thank you for being so..." Rey glanced around, looking for the word. "Neighborly."

The woman nodded again, and watched as Rey turned her back. Before she was too far gone, the woman called to her.

"Don't let it consume you!"

Rey stopped her walking and turned to her with furrowed brows.

"The grief. Dark magic latches on to that."

With that, the woman took her turn to give Rey her back, and went on slowly walking about the sands, leaving Rey confused and worried.

Gulping the unease away, Rey began to walk again.

She couldn't help but feel such worry plaguing her mind, given who her grandfather was...He'd come back once... Could he do it again? And if not, what if that darkness consumed Rey while she grieved?

There was no way around it... Everywhere she looked, she was reminded of Ben. At least Leia and Luke were with her, at least she caught the support of their force ghosts... But with Ben, it was always an empty shadow at her side.

As if on cue, the dark cloud rolled over her again as sadness and loneliness accompanied Rey on her walk to the Falcon, her feet nearly refusing to move at this point.

"Smile, kid."

The hair on the back of Rey's neck stood up, and tension quickly covered her body as Master Luke spoke to her. She slowly turned around to face him, dropping her bag to the sand once more as she looked at him with a blank expression.

"Rey..." Luke began, but her searing tone cut him off.

"Where were you?" she demanded.

"Rey, I-" Luke tried again, taking a step forward as Rey took a step back, tears brimming her eyes once more.

"Masters are supposed to be there in their student's time of need. I heard your voice, I heard all their voices, but no one came!" She yelled as the tears began to flow down her soft cheeks. "He could have lived! You could have helped; anybody could have helped!"

Rey struggled to breath as she pressed her open palms to her eyes, wiping away the tears as she sniffled.

"Rey, we were with you, through the force. We all were. Ben saved you, and the force allowed it. Anything you would ever want-"

"All I want is him." She said in a soft, broken whisper.

The winds behind moved across the hot sand, and the sound of faint static closing in tickled Rey's ear. Everything around her seemed to freeze, as if …

As if...

Slowly turning, Rey's eyes scanned the empty desert behind her, until her senses pinpointed an invisible source just inches from where she stood.

If she remained quiet... If she remained still... She could have sworn she felt him here.

Her eyes widened only a bit, as her mouth slowly opened in shock as her eyes landed where his would be, where she could feel him looking down at her.

Luke tensed as he watched his nephew peering down at Rey, just as her hand slowly reached up, her fingertips acting as if she were going to brush through his hair.

"Rey!" Luke called, causing her to jump and glance towards him.

Pulled out of her trance, Rey gasped as she turned back to where she had felt Ben's presence, now not sensing anything at all.

She hissed as she turned on her heel and stomped over to Luke, her hand balled into a fist.

"Are you hiding him? Do you know what's happened to him, and you're not telling me?" She exclaimed with accusations, her face growing hot as she eyed her Master.

Luke straightened. "Rey," He began with a scolding tone. "The force is on your side. Believe in it, have hope in it, and you will see your answer."

Rey stared him down for a further moment before turning her back to him as her heart clenched, and again, the tears silently streamed. All she wanted were answers, that is, if she couldn't have Ben.

She'd never known such a loss like this, as if she were literally torn in half while being teased with remnants of what could have been.

So much had happened, so, so much.

In only a few weeks, she'd went to war with her friends, and won against her grandfather – A Sith lord that brought nothing but evil and death to those around him, and in that battle, she'd lost Leia – A mother figure and a new teacher, who just so happened to be the mother of the man she...

Rey gulped...

She loved.

Closing her eyes, Rey let it sink into her heart.

She loved Ben, all along, even before she'd met him as Kylo Ren.

She'd had dreams of him, of the way his eyes would follow her, study her, love her...

Rey suspected those dreams are what kept her going so long on Jakku for all those years... And she never even got the chance to tell him, since he was ripped away from her being.

At this point, she decided, she'd take him in any form; A whisper in her mind, a force ghost at her side, even as Kylo Ren, a man that was feared, but she too, cared for.

He was all the same, weather he go by Ben or Kylo; Hard exterior, so intelligent and quick that he was Han any time he spoke, and the way he was gentle but tough all at the same time when it came to her... She never needed gentleness, but he gave it, all while teaching her.

Again, her heart twisted at the memory of how she drove his own lightsaber into his chest, completely enveloped into the writhing arms of the dark side.

The memory ran a cold chill down her spine, but Rey shook it off as she straightened, and talked to Luke over her shoulder with her back still to him.

"The force was not on my side that day, only when it was convenient, only when I needed to defeat Palpatine." Rey sniffled as her voice grew cold. "I will get my answer. Ben will come back; I will find him if it's the last thing I do."

Without waiting for another word from Luke, she began walking away with her belongings in hand, saying one last thing, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Even the force will not make an enemy of me."

( X )

Author's Notes: Hi! Hope you guys liked this one! Let me know what you guys think, I have more planned but I would like to see if you all want to read any more.

If you're bored, go read my other story "Steady On." - A COMPLETED post-TLJ story with 67 chapters, slow burn and lots of steamy scenes!

Tumblr: VirtualReylo


	2. Chapter 2

"Even the force will not make an enemy of me."

Had those words really come from her own mouth? It sounded so strange, and her tone rang in nothing but hateful venom as she recalled the words. She felt it was spoken from a place of truth though; Ben was out there, and the force was stringing her along, and the feeling of this only brought on more rage with the energy that flowed around her.

Rey shook her head as she loaded the rest of her belongings onto the Falcon, sighing as she remembered her interaction with Master Luke. The entire experience made her head throb, but she felt more alive, more awake than she had in the past two to three weeks since the events on Exegol.

After Ben's... death...

She gulped, hating to think of it in such a final way...

But after his body slowly vanished, she had been held up by so much hope that he was okay, sensing that it felt so differently from Luke's passing. With her Master, it felt as though he was part of the force, at peace without a physical presence.

The moment Ben passed, she assumed she'd feel the same way, but she felt him out there, waiting for her, looking for her... It filled her with so much hope, so much that she returned to the Resistance base for a quick moment, only to ensure everyone was okay, and indulge in a comforting and relieving hug with Poe and Finn.

It wasn't her intention to leave them so soon, and to leave them without a goodbye, but with Ben's force signature calling her so vividly, she took off the moment she could break away from the pack unnoticed, and in Luke's ship.

Across the stars, across the galaxy, she flew wherever his ghost lead her, where his force signature hinted to its belonging, to where she could hear his soothing voice whisper her name, and in the end, it turned into nothing but an empty void, always disappearing when she thought she was close to its owner

Feeling defeated, she returned to the Resistance base to re-group.

With another shake of her head, Rey remembered the few days after her venture, when she returned back to her friends, and told Finn and Poe of her need to go to Tatooine to bury Luke and Leia's sabers, and secretly decided to use that time to feel out the force for any trace of Ben.

"We need you here." Poe said, his tone soft and disappointed.

When Rey glanced at him, he seemed almost desperate for her presence there, and she was reminded that his new rank as General over the Resistance was still new to him, and he was working to build his own team, just as Leia had done.

She began to feel her stomach twist and turn with guilt, knowing that she shouldn't really leave them during a time where they were rebuilding and healing, but she asked herself, what can she really do when she was also broken herself?

Finn looked to the ground, his energy also shouting waves of disappointment at Rey, who tried her best not to take it personally as Poe continued.

"The war may be over, but there's still work to be done, just this morning we got word of First Order stragglers trying to rebuild their own base!" Poe exclaimed, his desperation causing him to grow loud.

Rey smiled as best she could to her friends, who now both faced her with concerned and expectant looks.

"This is not the end, this is not final. I will be back, this I promise you both." Rey softly told them before looking away in hopes of finding the right words. "I have to lay Luke and Leia's sabers to rest. They deserve at least that."

Unable to argue with that, Poe shook his head, turned on his heel and left Finn and Rey alone.

Sighing, Rey looked to the ground with sadness and guilt looming over her. She didn't expect either one of them to understand, but it was true. She felt an unsteady surge in the force that continued to beat away halfheartedly, and she was guided to complete this act, to honor her Masters in the only way she knew how.

On top of this, and not something she could tell her friends, she needed a quiet place to sit and meditate, to pinpoint where her bonded was, to find him and bring him home as Leia wanted. With so much chaos and still weak from the war, Rey needed this time to heal and realign herself with the force, to get back on track and become one with the energy that pulsed within her.

"Are you sure about this, Rey?" Finn asked quietly, already knowing the answer, but wishing for another.

His voice pulled Rey out of her mind, and she focused on her friend, meeting his saddened eyes as she softly nodded. "Finn, I need to do this."

He returns the motion with a single, curt nod. "Yeah... I can feel it." Finn shifted from one foot to the other, and Rey could tell there was something else he wanted to add, and she waited a long moment for him to continue, yet he never did.

"Finn... What is it?" She asked quietly, urging him on with as much patience as she could muster.

He audibly gulped, and his words began to fly out of his mouth at high speed.

"I just- The thing is...I..." He stumbled over his words as he began to pace in front of her. "I've been trying to tell you, and hell, you may already know, but I think I'm force sensitive, and I wanted to wait until everything settled down to tell you – Because maybe you'd be able to teach me you what you could, but I thi-"

Rey smiled, a wide, genuine smile as she watched her friend go on. There were times since they had met where Rey had guessed he may be force sensitive, but she couldn't be sure since his signature wasn't as strong, along with her being new to this world as well.

But in the end, after he went on and on with his admission, she couldn't help but admit that she was proud, and she, for the moment, felt less alone in this world she'd been introduced into only a year and a half ago.

Still smiling, Rey was pulled from her thoughts once again.

"So... Well, what do you think?" Finn asked, standing only a foot away from her now as his pacing stopped to capture her reaction.

Without a word, she stepped forward and hugged him tight, a hug so tight that told him all she felt; That she was proud, and that he was still her best friend and she was so, so happy that they could be on this journey together.

"You're happy?" He asked with disbelief in his voice as he hugged her back just as tight.

"Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be!" Rey gleamed, and the happiness that overcame her brought tears to her eyes, wishing so desperately that she could share this moment with Luke and Leia, too.

Finn chuckled softly, relieved that she was so happy, and found that he was just as happy with being able to finally tell her and share this moment together.

Breaking away from their embrace, Finn shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. "Well, it would be a good reason to get back here as quickly as you could... You know, to train me in the ways of the Jedi." He said, almost jokingly, but his voice still carried a string of hope.

Smiling to her friend, Rey turned on her heel and went to the console at the head of her resting area, bending low to retrieve the storage unit that held the ancient Jedi textbooks.

With a sigh, Rey stood, holding the pile of books within her arms and handed them to Finn, who looked at her with an inquisitive look.

"The ancient Jedi textbooks, they helped me when I started training, maybe they'll help you too." She smiled as he set them down on a nearby table, and watched as Finn eyed them. "I promise I'll train with you when I get back, but this will be a good start. C-3PO can help translate, too."

Finn turned to look at Rey, again, disappointed that she was still so committed to leaving. "You really need to do this, huh?"

Rey nibbled on her bottom lip and inhaled deeply. Finn was her very first friend she'd ever truly made, apart from BB-8 if you counted that ball of bots. The thought made her smile as she looked at Finn, her best friend, she realized.

He had done so much for her, and she done so much for him, they'd become such a big part of each other's lives that she wasn't sure what she would do if he wasn't by her side at the end of all of this... The thought alone made her heart heave, in a similar way it did when she first thought Ben was gone forever.

Refusing to let herself steep into that dark place, she reminded herself to remain hopeful, and thought of how his signature was pulling her along, just as Finn's must have all along.

"Yes, I think so." Glancing away, her wide, curious eyes tried to look for the words she could describe, so that he'd understand. "Finn, I can feel it... I can feel their sabers being called there; I can sense their... Their energy... "

Finn nodded, catching on. He, too, had at one point encountered those 'feelings' - whether it be as he was piloting the gunner of the Falcon, and shooting down a First Order ship, or even when he felt Rey's life force completely diminish – Something the two of them had yet to talk about.

He couldn't deny it, the fact that he had a feeling even now, that there was still more beneath the surface of what she was saying. Again, he tried to remind Rey of the reasons to stay.

"I get it. But hurry back... We do need you now more than ever, especially with Kylo Ren dead, we don't know what other tyrants will try to take his place."

Rey's expression changed to something painful, almost as if she were sad by what he had said and this caused his brows to furrow and his mouth to frown with confusion. He watched her face as she quickly tried to cover up her reaction.

"Well, it was never quite confirmed that he-" Rey began to stumble over her words quietly, her eyes frantically glancing across the floor.

Again, that 'feeling' hit Finn, this time in the form of a waypoint, an invisible trail that led directly to Rey, and at the center of it, he sensed sadness and despair.

The notion caught him off guard; The fact that he could sense what she was feeling, that he accomplished that much, and the fact that they were talking about the previous Supreme Leader of the First Order...And... and she was sad.

"What is it?" Finn asked softly, realizing that he was beginning to feel exactly the way she felt now and felt as though he were lost, and a wave of anxiety rolled over him, like a child lost in a big crowd.

Whatever she was feeling, was haunting her.

Rey's sad eyes slowly met his, and he regained his composure, standing tall and giving her a small nod, letting her know he's here, and that it's okay to let it out.

"It's... There's just..." She tried, struggling on where to start, and how.

There was so much she wanted to tell Finn... To tell everyone really, but there was no way around it, not without getting some type of backlash for Ben's wrongdoings as Kylo Ren...

But that was the thing... They didn't know of Ben, or what Ben was capable of, and what he's done to better the galaxy already. Of course, and she reminded herself that she was not a stupid girl – She knew the deeds that were done that made up of Kylo Ren.

Kylo wasn't an angel, even she had called him a monster at one point, and at the time, it was true. There was no possible way to take it all back; The murders, the war, recruiting younglings to join the Order, Han...

But he was damaged, and he was manipulated, and that turned him into the creature that is Kylo... Yet, he proved he could never get rid of the part of him that's Ben; Soft, patient, and willing...

Ben was the one that killed Snoke, Ben was the one that went back for her, and helped her defeat his knights and Palpatine, and Ben was the one that gave his life to save hers.

She didn't think herself worthy, of any of it really... But he showed her differently, time and time again. How could she ever keep that quiet? To keep the good - completely silent without a trace of the legacy that is Ben Solo, out?

"Rey?" Finn urged her on, softly still, but bringing her out of her thoughts.

Timidly, Rey began.

"It's Ben..."

"You mean Kylo Ren?" Finn asked, truly trying to understand.

Rey slowly gave a soft nod. "Ben... I know..." She sighed trying to start again. "I know you knew a different side of him... A really bad side... But, there's a lot of good things he's done... Selfless things... And it just doesn't feel right... To keep it hidden, all the good things..."

The air around Rey and Finn seemed to still with tension as Finn placed his hands on his hips and watched her with a look of disbelief, but still, he gave her the benefit of the doubt and tried to understand.

"Like...?" He asked, though his tone sounded as if he didn't actually want the answer. Rey, still determined to get the truth out there, went on anyway as the words tumbled out.

"He was the one that killed Snoke! And he came to help me fight Palpatine, and there was a moment there, too, where he was even able to bring me back to life! But the forc-"

The last bit caught Finn's attention and dragged it away from the negative thoughts he was already getting.

"Wait, what? You died? I felt it, I think... But..."

"No... Well, yes, but Ben brought me back to life, with the force an-"

Finn was shaking his head. "No... No, Rey. He doesn't get a free pass for everything else he's done, just because he did one good thing or two." Realizing how it sounded, Finn winced and tried to recover as Rey's face fell. "I didn't mean it like that-"

Biting the inside of her cheek, Rey forced herself to be quiet, knowing this was not going to end how she'd hoped.

Still trying to soften his words, Finn went out. "C'mon, you know I didn't mean it like that... You're right, Rey. I've seen Kylo Ren do terrible things, to really good people, even innocent people... But I don't believe he killed Snoke, or helped defeat Palpatine for a good cause. He's always been power hungry, Rey, always. If anything, he may have just been doing it for his advantage."

By now, Rey had turned her back to Finn as she fidgeted with the fabric at her waist that was part of her wraps, eager to get her mind and body busy before she blew up, already feeling hot, angry tears threatening to spill.

"I'm glad you're safe, Rey... But I don't need the force to tell me what bad things he's done, it's always been out in the open."

At that, Rey whirled around. "And what about the good things Ben has done? What does the force tell you now?"

Finn, who had no rebuttal, remained quiet at Rey's turn, refusing to tap into the force for that answer, refusing to believe that Kylo Ren had any good deeds to be seen, or believed. He'd spent nearly his whole life fighting that man's war, even if it was simple maintenance on the ship, it all served the same purpose; Live, win, and destroy.

And now, Finn chose to live, and finally, that meant a life without war.

Taking his chances, Finn raked a hand down his face and let it settle on his chin as he thought to himself, Rey still watching him from the corner of the room as the tension strained.

He couldn't blame her... Not really.

He knew she grew up isolated on Jakku, and maybe there just wasn't a way of her knowing all of the bad things Kylo Ren had done...

But a part of him, a steady hum that flowed through his muscles and spread into his bloodstream, told him to remain calm, to hope and be open to the idea of Rey's words that this Ben truly did exist, and that he wasn't as bad as he seemed...

Before Finn could ponder it, his tongue worked for him, driving off of an old instinct of banishing anything that had to do with Kylo.

"Maybe... Maybe you do need a few days, Rey. Maybe it'll give you some time to clear your head before you come back."

Even as he said the words, he felt the hurt fill the atmosphere, unsure who was feeling it more, himself or Rey. He didn't mean to sound as if he were abandoning her, but he wasn't sure what else he could do... If Poe ever heard her saying these things, he'd throw a fit...

So maybe, it would be better for everyone involved to take a step back.

Slowly, he turned back to her and met her eyes. Rey was shocked, but before he could determine this, she covered her reaction with a cold, smoldering look, her eyes dark and mouth formed in a straight line.

But even as her body language told him to back off, her energy almost begged him to take it back.

Gulping, Finn's shoulders fell with guilt and defeat as he grabbed the Jedi text books and turned to leave without a proper goodbye.

Hurt, and at a loss for words, Rey watched him go.

( X )

It wasn't long after when Rey finished packing her things and headed to the Millennium Falcon that was docked a couple klicks away from the base.

On her way there, Rey couldn't help the sunken feeling of disappointment settle around her as she thought back to her conversation with Finn, unsure of what she had truly expected from their exchange.

She knew it'd be mad to expect his approval and praise for Ben, but she knew for certain that she wasn't expecting Finn to think of her as delusional. The sheer thought made her heart clench and her blood boil, wanting to do nothing by cry.

In the end, all she ever wanted to do was honor Ben, a man that truly gave everything he had to defend her, to save her, and through it, he saved the galaxy, too.

Approaching the Falcon, BB-8 hurriedly rolled up to her, beeping his excitement at the sight of Rey, who gave a small smile down to the little bot, bending to him to adjust his antennas.

"Hey you," she greeted the droid softly.

BB-8 whirred a group of responses, telling her of all the things he'd discovered today, mostly to do with the plants that grew around them, before asking where they were off to.

Rey looked at the droid, utterly confused by the question. "Oh, well I'm going to Tatooine.. How did you know?"

In response, BB-8's head pointed down directly to her bag, and moved back to eye her.

Behind Rey, Chewie approached, donning his knew medal tied neatly around his neck, a proud show of the piece that Leia left for him. The sight of this brought an instant, genuine smile to Rey's face as Chewie grumbled to her.

'Don't let ball fool you, Poe demand he keep you company.'

BB-8 beeped an accusation at Chewie, who then roared his reply and sent the droid spinning away.

Rey couldn't help the feeling again, a distant feeling to break down and let it out. She knew that once she was alone, it would all come out, that she would mourn her losses and allow herself to feel the pain of their absence, to finally take a breath of fresh air away from war and death.

The sense that Poe must have felt this, too, and offered his own droid to accompany her on this journey of closure and grief, warmed her heart so deeply.

The man knew how to annoy her to bits, but it was the small things like this that reminded Rey of their friendship meaning more than playful and heated jabs here and there.

'Tatooine?' Chewie asked with a huff as he cleaned off one of his tools with a dirty rag before placing them both down on a nearby table.

With a sigh, Rey stood and nodded. "Yes, Tatooine. I'm going to lay Luke and Leia's sabers to rest there, to honor them and their legacy."

Hesitantly, she slowly moved to look at Chewie's reaction, hoping that he'd approve of this since he knew them most of all.

Chewie eyed Rey before giving a quick nod, shooting his arm out to ruffle her hair, which she chuckled at.

'Yes, good. We all need time to be sad.' he grumbled and bent low to grab her bag, and walked into the Falcon to load it for her before returning to his place beside her.

Rey was about to begin her goodbyes when Chewie spoke up again.

'And of little Ben?'

To hear his name spoken so freely surprised Rey, and her eyes flew up to meet Chewie's, who awaited the answer. His eyes were sad, but expectant, and she knew she shouldn't be so shocked that he'd asked, being that he was the one who flew her to bring him back home before the events on Crait.

Regardless of his actions with Han... Chewie still viewed Ben as family, his best friends son...

The fact that Rey sought understanding and hope for Ben in the wrong place, with Finn who had only known one piece of her bondmate, made her both sad and happy to discover that the right place lay with the wookie, who would be the only person to refer to Ben as 'little'.

The sentiment brought a sad smile to Rey's face as she glanced to the ground with glossy eyes.

'Not all bad.' Chewie added with a little grumble, his large, hairy hand moving to grip the medal on his chest.

At this, Rey couldn't stop the halfhearted chuckle that escaped from her lips, but it was a strange, sad sound as it turned into a silent sob, the tears rolling down her cheeks as she sniffled.

"No, he's not all bad." She agreed through the silent tears, finally looking back to Chewie.

Seeing her face, the wookie took a step towards her and gathered her in his arms, and having no one else to turn to, having no one else to grieve with for Ben, she allowed herself this moment with Chewie, hidden in the forest beside the Falcon as BB-8 slowly approached, and gave a sad whirl as Rey wept.

( X )

Sighing, Rey couldn't wrap her mind around the fact that this had taken place nearly three weeks ago, that she'd left her friends and went on a journey to Tatooine, believing that this time spent away had somehow seemed much longer.

The sad days she had in these hot, clay homes on this desert farm seemed longer than the lonely days she'd shared on Jakku, and in the end, the sand was always the thing that kept her grounded.

But, after nearly twenty-one years of it, she'd began to grow tired of it all golden, rough grains, and was eager for a change in scenery.

Resting her head back on the headrest of the pilot's seat, Rey closed her eyes and channeled the force, a silent plea for guidance to her next destination, wherever it may be.

As it had been lately, the force pushed back, a strong wave of defiance in denying Rey what she wanted whenever it came to finding Ben, and she realized, it's what she needed.

For a brief moment, she settled against the locked door that the force built around her, and her energy formed itself into a ball of strength and power, ready to knock down it's opponent and take her prize, a surge of rage building within her.

She had never felt so angry, not even when dealing with Snoke, or Kylo, or Palpatine... Just as she had never felt so hurt, even from her experience with Finn, or her parents.

With Ben being her bond mate, her dyad in the force, she never understood until now how much her body and her force relied on him being okay, to be safe and alive. Ever since he left her, her body has felt like it's been in constant turmoil and stress, unable to sleep or rest properly.

The fact that she knew he was out there somewhere, in a land unknown, and that their bond was closed off, made Rey feel alone and outcasted. And she knew for certain that the force knew where he lay, but refused to tell her...

That's where her anger grew, and that's where her hurt pooled.

In this, when it came to Ben – a small taste of true happiness – she refused to lose, even if the force was not on her side.

With a deep inhale, Rey reaffirmed her stance within the force, and gave it a hard shove, rattling its hinges and breaking the seal. The tiny flecks of energy shuttered, causing a rippling effect that tore at its exterior, and in this, allowed Rey a peek inside.

She only saw glimpses of her answer, of her memories, and of-

Of Ben.

With a small gasp, Rey watched a cold, grey sea brewing with the rain that fell from above, with a flash of black moss and white stone... The image transferred to her sun-kissed cheek, a close up of her scar, and a large, pale thumb softly brushing over it... Pushing through this vision, Rey gained control of the sight, and found her eyes pouring into the pool of dark brown she had been so eager to find.

His eyes had been studying her, as if he were a ghost admiring his once-greatest possession. As they locked eyes, she froze and his eyes widened, now seemingly awake from being caught red-handed.

His hand withdrew and he stepped back, only to have her step forward, reaching, begging, pleading for just another moment.

In the blink of an eye, he was gone.

( X )

Author's Notes:

Lots more Ben in the next chapter! I have a really strong outline for this story, and I'm eager to get this one out for you all.

Thank you all for the reviews on the last chapter, they pushed to get this one out! *Hint, HINT*


	3. Chapter 3

"You are no better than when you were twelve!" Luke ranted, pacing back and forth.

It had been a good, long while since Luke started scolding Ben for almost projecting himself to Rey, something he never even meant to do in the first place. The force that whirled within him seemed to reach out at the sight of her, and she easily latched on, feeling his presence close by, almost desperate for it.

Even though he felt good about knowing that she was alive and safe, there was denying that he felt a sense of sorrow and disbelief along with it.

The sight of her was surprising; Her hair was half down, similar to the way she'd had it when she arrived on his ship, when they'd killed Snoke... And her soft features looked tired and restless, as if she'd been crying for days on end without any sleep.

Ben's eyes had softened as he studied her, and all he had wanted to do was gather her in his arms, and protect her from whatever caused her to be so distraught. The instinct alone felt strange to him, having never felt the urge to comfort and protect anyone or anything so intensely.

But it was Rey... It was always Rey. She was the one that turned the tables, that introduced the idea to his mind that maybe he is capable of changing, and of accomplishing great things by doing good...

She even admitted... She wanted to take his hand... Ben's hand.

So many countless nights he had thought of her refusing him, that day in the throne room haunting his dreams. He'd felt it so vividly; They were meant to be side by side. He'd seen it.

Rey's constant refusal of this left him mad and rageful, taking it out on the people around him. And after everything, even with the monster he was, she saw a side of him worth saving, worth wanting...

Even after her admission, the side of him that is Kylo Ren, tried to tear those thoughts of bliss and hope away, to kill the light that seemed to be rising within him and banish it forever.

He was at war with himself, and always had been, with no one at his side...

The darkness began to roll back into his veins as he looked out over the hectic sea that surrounded the death star...

And that's when he had shown up.

Han... His father.

Though their relationship was distant at times, and rather rocky, Han always defended his son, and was always willing to fight for him, not against him.

Kylo Ren saw this as a weakness in Han, and as a key to the pathway for Ben. And because of that potential of being saved, of truly living, Kylo killed the only thing left that Ben looked up to.

Even now, in this world between, the memories haunt him and tune Luke's ranting out, which the older man started to noticed.

Luke sensed the tension rolling in, a darker version of what previously stood here, more chaotic and dangerous to introduce to this land. Stepping forward timidly, Luke pulled the force around them, and created a shield from the dark thoughts that Ben was beginning to have, about Han he realized.

The Jedi Master looked to the ground and let out a slow, sad sigh.

"He would do it all over again, you know."

Ben, who was standing with his back to Luke, scoffed into the wind as he cursed his thoughts for being loud, still trying to regain control over the force within him, which was wild and erratic and furthering its attempts to heal.

Though it was erratic, it seemed to calm another storm within Ben at the mention of Han, comforting him with a blanket of security and soothing companionship, though all he had here was Luke, at the moment.

Ben's jaw tensed as he tried to control his emotions, his mind replaying his memory of Han, and how he cupped his cheek with a look of assurance and pride – A look he doesn't believe he'd ever earned for either of his parents before.

He gulps down the knot and clears his throat, blinking away the well of emotions rising in him, and chooses to look over the sea again, not willing to acknowledge Luke's comment.

"I don't understand this place... I don't understand why I'm here. I'm not truly one with the force... I can't even properly feel the force here..." Ben mutters under his breath, however Luke still catches every word.

With a look that lacked all confidence, Luke sighed, stepping forward to grasp the back of Ben's arm, who quickly tried to yank it away and berate his uncle, however Luke cut him off.

"The force allowed you to heal here, and if you can heal properly, you can return to Rey, and start a new life. Nothing is a guarantee, and this world... This world harvests all souls that still have some fight left in them... Whether it's good or evil."

Ben looked at Luke with narrowed eyes and a red face as he tried to understand still.

Unsure, Luke affirmed his grip on Ben's arm and straightened his body, closing his eyes as he channeled the force into his being.

"There may be someone else that can better explain."

( X )

In the blink of an eye, his surroundings changed, the grey skies and dark, blue ocean forming into a long, stoned patio that over looked a green lake, surrounded by equally vibrant green trees and flowers of the most outrageous colors.

The air smelled crisp, and royal, causing Ben to immediately realize that he was on Naboo now.

Glancing around, he saw that Luke was no longer with him, and he was silently grateful, still on edge to be around the man he had once sworn to kill, and even attempted this for a long while.

There were still a lot to be hashed out with the older man, and he was certain that their relationship could never be repaired, but Ben's days of killing out of revenge were over... At least he he had hoped, and the fact that he even felt that gleam of faith, surprised him after being set in his ways as Kylo Ren for so many years.

With a huff of a sigh, Ben turned to admire the nature once more, and his mind quickly brought an image of Rey's face, wondering if she'd like it here. He remembered, back when they first interacted in the interrogation room, that she held the visuals of colored plants and flowers close to her, and that green brought warmth to her being – A color she'd barely experienced on the yellow plains of Jakku.

Without realizing it, the corner of his mouth turned up into a small smile, wishing that one day he'd be able to show her this land, if the stubborn, curious girl allowed it.

By now, it was determined that they were bond mates, a dyad in the force so strong and powerful, that even in death, they were together. He'd seen it... She felt it...

They shared it.

She told him, too, on the remnants of the Death Star, that she did want to take his hand... Ben's hand. And it was only later that day after the war was won and over with, she had kissed him.

Part of his being tried to rip the fantasy away, to tell him that it meant nothing – That she was only so wrapped up in the moment that she moved to meet his lips with her own...

But the other half of him, that half that was becoming stronger than the dark, negative side, told him that it was genuine. He caught the notion in her mind, the small hint of doubt that flashed before her, asking herself if it was okay, if that was how it was done...

She didn't ponder on the thought too much, and moved forward, her mouth embracing his own with the sweetest, warmest taste of her lips, and together, they shared their first kiss – A moment so perfect that he broke out into a grin, even bringing forth a breathy chuckle from him.

She tasted and felt sweeter than he'd imagined.

He couldn't deny it... The thought of kissing her had occurred to him on multiple occasions, sometimes completely random as he was busy training, or even on his way to finding the first wayfinder. Other times when the thought came to him, he'd been torturing himself day in and day out, thinking of nothing but her.

Even in life, Rey haunted him.

They'd seen each other in dreams and nightmares from before they'd even physically met, and even after, their bond solidified their attachment to one another – Something completely unexpected and new to both of them.

In the days after Crait, he'd delved into as much research and data that he could possibly muster in regards to their force bond, but in the end, every answer told him the same thing; A force bond was rare, but extremely delicate and significant in the lives the bond claimed.

This, he knew for certain, and yet still attempted to defy it.

With his gaze empty, it settled on the ripples in the blue-green lake as Ben recalled their first force bond only two weeks after Crait.

He had just returned to his chambers from training, dismissing the last of the servants that were assisting with renovations, and as he made his way to the fresher, he felt the steady buzz creep along his spine as the bond pulled him in, and in a matter of seconds, Rey formed before him.

His movement froze immediately, and it took him a longer second to recover from being caught off guard.

He watched her silently as he stood there, still sweaty and unwashed from his training... He should've been upset, should've been irate to see her before him after her refusal.

But he didn't have it in him.

For some awful feeling... Instead of rage... He felt... Hurt.

And that angered him more than anything.

Rey was bent low to the ground, admiring something that caught her interest hidden within the dirt at her feet. Her demeanor quickly shifted from thoughtful and relaxed, to rigid and tense, as if a cold chill swept through her body and froze her skin.

Again, he tried not to react at her reaction, and instead inwardly scoffed.

Straightening up, Rey slowly turned to him, her eyes landing at his feet before slowly trailing up, and Kylo noted that she looked sad, and almost sorrowful.

Something about seeing her, he realized, made his heart jump with anticipation, and oddly, yearning.

He had seen the vision of them together, of them ruling the galaxy side by side; A duo that was truly unstoppable as the force itself predicted.

She always seemed like such a hopeful person, a person that believed in truth and in people...

Why, he wondered, did she not see the truth of this vision and share that belief in them together?

Now seething, Kylo's hand clenched into a fist at his side as he narrowed his eyes at her, to which Rey slowly exhaled at while straightening her shoulders, preparing for a fight.

Refusing to fully acknowledge her, Kylo looked past Rey and began to carry on.

As he passed her, he heard her small, fragile voice speak up, calling for him.

"Ben?" she asked, turning to face him, staring at his back as he stopped, though he did not turn to face her.

He waited a long moment before speaking while she shifted from foot to foot, a wavier in her confidence as she looked for the words she wanted to speak.

Kylo, ruthless in any way he could find, didn't let her.

"Do not call me by that name."

With that, he carried on with his business and closed himself in inside the fresher, and even after doing so, the walls were not thick enough to keep the rolling tide of disappointment out, and it seemed to roll off of her and directly into him.

Looking back at the interaction, Ben knew that even then, it was a show. Hearing her say his name, his birth name – A name that no one else dare mutter – always caught his attention instantly.

Rey, a girl of the desert and scavenger of all goods and broken things, had no shame or fear in anything she did or said. It was something that had immediately drew him to her, and something he found rather attractive in both an enemy and a...

Lover?

The word felt extremely foreign to him, and Ben felt as though the word diminished what she truly was to him. He knew of course, he had no claim over her or the bond they shared, and just because they shared their moments and a kiss, did not mean they were anything more than what they were.

Still, he wasn't sure what to classify them as, but he knew she was bigger than a friend, and meant more than a lover...

She was his other half, and there was no denying that.

By this point, they had somehow come to know one another's mind better than they knew their own – A terrifying thought but something so pure that it could not be refused, similar to the bond that was distinguished between the pair.

This, he knew for certain.

Once again since arriving in this strange world, Ben felt the sudden, but urgent, need to see her, to ensure her safety and to take away her worries and pain. The desire to lay to rest her troubles rose within him, so violently that he could feel his palms instantly begin to sweat, just as his temple throbbed.

His mind replayed moments of their times together, teasing him with her features; Sun kissed skin, wisps of light, brown hair that begged for his soothing, with her wide, curious and tempting eyes – Something he could no doubt get lost in for ages.

The ache grew, just as his longing did. The last time he had this urge to get to her, she was battling Palpatine alone on Exegol.

The memory of their fight, and the fear he had at losing Rey... And that fear coming true at one point... Made his heart hammer away within his chest.

They had truly been through so much together...

It was only right...

It was only right that he see her...

Letting is eyes slowly drift close, Ben let his mind seep into the energy of the force, finding that it was chaotic and almost overwhelming at first. It rushed by in waves, and even in his younger years, it was never this hard to get it under control...

But he thought of Rey, and her rough, beautiful features...

And as if it knew, the force began to calm, the ebb and flow slowly floating around him as it softened and listened to Ben's call.

Still weak, Ben had to try harder to control it, to have it bend to his will and reign, to listen and comply.

The act of it was draining him, but he refused to give up, focusing on the girl that lived in another galaxy, that breathed life in another world entirely.

Slowly, Ben began to see her form in front of him, almost ghostly as her presence came in like a quiet visual of static.

His breath hitched as he saw her, relieved and sorrowful all at the same time.

Her hair was down, and she had a deep frown displayed across her pink lips. Normally, her eyes and brows would give off the curious and defiant impression, but now...

But now, she was staring off into nothing, and her eyes seemed empty, her lids red and worn, as if she'd been crying.

Gulping, Ben's hand reached to her, hesitant but thoughtless, as if it were only instinctual to touch and comfort her. The back of his fingertips softly touched her cheek, and he watched as she closed her eyes with a sad wince, as if his touch was something that both hurt her and satisfied an unnerving crave.

He felt Rey shutter at the touch from his ghost, her heart twisting with a tragic twinge of want from something that simply didn't seem to exist any longer, and his heart ached at the thought of her giving up hope...

Without hesitation, Ben made his way through the static of the force, giving all he could to signal his voice to her, a whisper against her cheek as he cradled the other side of her face.

"I'll come back, sweetheart... I promise..."

( X )

She feels him, a distant, shy touch against the warmness of her cheek.

She shuts her eyes, knowing it isn't real.

But still, she feels herself reach for him, desperately.

"I'll come back, sweetheart... I promise..."

The same words she heard in her dreams, even as a child... The same words that kept her alive with hope within her heart for all those years on that desert planet.

It was him...It was him all along.

( X )

"Did your uncle not explain that you really shouldn't do that?"

A voice spoke to Ben, and in an instant, Rey was torn from his mind's sight as his eyes shot open, whipping around on near-wobbly legs.

Ben felt the air rush from him, at a loss of breath as he tried to regain the energy to simply stand.

He grunted as his fists automatically clenched, hissing with exhaustion as his eyes found their way to stare at the stranger that stood in front of him, dressed in dark robes with shoulder length blonde hair.

The man smirked at Ben, who only narrowed his eyes, glancing around for any sign of his annoying uncle, and something that he would be able to call to his defense, should the man dare to attack.

Regaining his composure, Ben stood tall, eyeing the man once more.

As Ben studied the man, a sense of familiarity began to ring in, though he couldn't quite place his finger on it, mostly due to the creeping feeling of annoyance as the man looked amused at Ben's confusion.

Slowly, as he noticed the scar that ran through the man's right brow, the answer came to Ben, and he swallowed, hard, unable to believe what his intuition told him.

"Are you..." He began, his words trailing off as he waited for confirmation.

The man gave a single nod. "Yes," he smiled wide, a toothy grin. "I'm Anakin Skywalker. Your grandfather."

The words seemed to linger in the air between them, putting all else at a cohesive stop as Ben processed what he was told, his eyes on the man he'd grown up believing he would one day become. So many days of his life, so many years, he'd spent speaking to and silently worshipping this idol, the man that was once Darth Vader...

Ben wondered briefly if every time he was offered guidance from the ghost's voice, if it was truly Palpatine all along.

Sensing the silent question, Anakin gave a tired, but disappointing, sigh.

"Yes, it was." He answered his grandson, taking a few casual steps towards him. "But do not believe that your words fell on deaf ears... I heard every word... But it was not our time... Not yet."

Anakin, who now stood beside Ben, turned to meet the young man's eyes and was taken back for a slight moment, caught off guard with how Ben's brown eyes glowed with searing and curious demand – The same as Padme's.

It made Anakin smile softly before looking away.

Opening then quickly shutting his mouth, Ben gulped, completely transfixed to be standing in front of such a well-known and respected leader.

Instinctively, Ben moved to kneel, to which Anakin motionlessly used the force to stop him. "Ben... None of that."

Releasing his force hold, Anakin turned his gaze to the lake, allowing his memory to drift to his wife, and their time here on the planet, all while Ben let out a shaky breath and straightened up, standing awkwardly at his grandfather's side.

Gaining some courage, Ben softly spoke up. "I'm sorry...I just never... I never expected to..."

Anakin swallowed, followed by a soft sigh as he admired the water, and pictured how it use to feel. "I know."

Silence settled between the pair for a long while, testing out the atmosphere, testing out one another. Anakin had a strong sense of pride as he felt Ben's presence, so similar in the way he held himself in the same regard when he was a living man; Powerful, honest, and a natural brute when it came to something they wanted.

But beneath the hard exterior, they were two men who genuinely, deeply loved their other half, and would do anything in their power to ensure their safety, and that's what made Anakin proud above all else.

Anakin's brows furrowed and he frowned as he felt a mix of emotions coming from Ben; Regret, turmoil, and a dark shadow of misery.

"Ben..." He started, but his grandson quickly interrupted, though his voice was broken, and low.

"You should be disappointed in me. The things I've done... I thought I was following in your footsteps... I was living in your past... The things I can't take back.-"

"Are nothing compared to what I've done. And yes, there is no taking any of it back, ever. But what is living, if you can't ever forgive yourself?"

At this, Ben met Anakin's gaze, to which the older man smirked and offered a half-hearted shrug.

"That seems... optimistic..." Ben said with the smallest hint of sarcasm attached to it.

"My master taught me this... And it's still always a struggle... But it's true." He looked away for a moment, narrowing his eyes against the sun as he took a moment to think.

Eventually, he spoke again after a sigh. "I did a lot of horrible things, Ben. And I chose this life to make up for my wrong-doings, to help others as my wife, your grandmother, would have wanted."

Ben bit the inside of his cheek as he listened, trying to understand. "You chose this?... To be a...?"

"To manifest my being into a force ghost, yes. It is as the force allowed it... I could have simply laid my soul to rest, but if I did, I would not be here now, and I would not have been able to transfer my force energy to Rey, when she needed it most."

His grandson's head whipped to him at the mention of his bond mate, his mind whirling with the idea of staying in this world, or going back go to her, still trying to understand.

"No, returning to Rey and her world is not up to you, it is up to the force. Either you recover here, and the force guides you back, or your physical body is too weak, and you will slowly perish, or become one with the Force, like me and Luke." Turning to face Ben head on, Anakin continued.

"This world between worlds, it's not just a place for good or redeemable people, worthy of saving. There are people, and creatures, that are stuck here, because their force energy refused to give up and clung to anything they could. It's a shared world, but your mind can protect you, if you use it correctly. Like this. Luke began to take you away from the island your mind manifested, and hoping to bring something familiar, your mind pictured Naboo. I take it you've visited quite often?"

Ben simply nodded, intently listening.

Anakin nodded, "Good. I like this place... For me, it's home... Cling to your own memories Ben, cling to what you know while you're here, while you recover. If you explore too much, or if you are drawn to a place that you do not recognize, turn back. Your force energy is strong... I can feel it, and if I can feel it, so can others."

Finally, Ben was beginning to understand, just as a wave of discomfort and uncertainty settled into his gut.

Clearing his throat, Ben spoke.

"And if I am not able to recover here? If I'm too weak?"

Anakin gave a small, sad smile. "You know the answer to that."

Unfortunately, he did.

It meant him dying a true death, in every way, non-existent to the force, and no longer able to live with Rey, or even watch over her as a force ghost. With a shudder, Ben clenched his teeth before speaking.

"Is that how Palpatine survived? His force survived, though he was too weak?"

At the mention of his Sith Master's name, Anakin frowned in a way that made his scar stand out, and his features alone made him look dark and frightening.

"I can only believe so. I thought I had killed him... I thought he wouldn't survive his death... I should've known..." This time, Anakin cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the guilt that hovered over him. "He was too powerful, it only makes sense that his force latched onto something here, until the remnants of his loyalists found a way to resurrect him... I'm not too sure."

Both men grew quiet as they thought of this, and in the end, they came to their own conclusion; The past is over with, and Palpatine was truly put to an end this time, the proof being in the way the force moved without chaos.

The hammering within Ben's chest began to slow, and the air settled around both him and his grandfather as they looked out beyond the lake together, the realization of this shared moment astonishing Ben.

"How do you do it?" Ben asked after a while with a heavy tone. "How do you live like this?"

Anakin grinned at this. "Stay out of trouble, meditate, and have hope. Your grandmother wouldn't allow it any other way."

It took Ben a moment to think of this, to look back on all of his research and replay the stories he was told growing up. "I thought she wasn't force sensitive?"

"Not truly, but that's the beautiful thing about a strong woman – Her presence is felt everywhere, regardless."

Ben glanced to Anakin, and saw the serene expression that formed into a smile of admiration on his grandfather's face, and Ben realized then, just how deeply Anakin had loved Padme, their story of love and loss proving true in the highest regard.

Deep down, it re-energized Ben's sense of hope in sharing that with Rey one day, if she'd have him...

But to get there is where the true struggle lay.

Even through the excitement and the turmoil, to share this moment with someone he had admired his entire life, comforted Ben as he grasped the warning from their previous conversation; Do not let his mind wander to unknown places, stay safe, and do not over exert himself – And maybe, just maybe, he'd have a chance.

"Yes, just maybe, you will." Anakin said out loud, reading Ben. Normally, the act would have felt intrusive and his defenses would have immediately gone up, but Ben was tired, and in the end, felt like he had nothing to hide from Anakin.

His grandfather gave a soft chuckle to himself, grinning at Ben, who only looked at him with a curious expression.

"We just seem so equally similar, with such opposite choices."

Ben's brows knitted together, the idea drawing such confusion to his mind since he had aimed so much of his life to being exactly like him.

Anakin spoke up again. "I mean, you gave up the dark to save Rey, and yourself. I gave up the light, and lost everything."

Briefly, the older man almost had a sense of envy, but the force washed it away, replacing it with another wave of pride.

"You've done so good, Ben. Allow yourself to heal... Time, it works differently here. Don't let it scare you. Be patient, and remember what you're fighting for... Who you're fighting for... "

"Rey." Ben instantly muttered softly, her name rolling off of his tongue instinctively.

His grandfather nodded. "Yes. And I know it will be hard... But you shouldn't project yourself to her... It'll only slow down your recovery, and it could also hurt her..."

At this, Ben froze.

"How? I can feel her looking for me, I can sense her-" He started, yet Anakin calmly cut him off.

"Because your return isn't certain. How heartbreaking would it be, to chase a ghost for the rest of your life?"

In that instant, Ben understood, more than Anakin probably guessed he would have.

There was once a time when Ben had been inside Rey's mind, and saw how she spent day in and day out on Jakku, waiting for her parents to return to her, scared to leave her home in hopes of them coming back.

He remembered her feelings of broken hope and endless abandonment, and realized how she was never able to live a full life because of this, how deeply she cherished the simplicity of a color because she'd seen so little of it...

Yes, he understood.

And he vowed, no matter how much it hurt...

Ben vowed he would not be that ghost.

( X )

Author's Notes:

OooooOOOooo! Hope you all liked this one! I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I feel like we can really progress into the story between Rey and Ben now, and I hope you all like it.

The next chapter will be a filler, but it's important for the story, so it may be out faster than usual!

Anyway, let me know what you all think? 3

Tumblr: VirtualReylo


	4. Chapter 4

"I'll come back, sweetheart... I promise..."

( X )

'It was him all along.' Rey thinks, her lips parted as a tear slowly rolls down her cheek. Her breathing has stilled at this point, at the realization of just how long Ben has been her other half, and her shadow in this world and the next.

The fact of this warmed her heart, and sent a chill down her spine as she came to terms with knowing that the voice in her mind was never her father, or her mother... But it was always the one person that assured her that she was never alone.

Mindlessly, Rey's hand slowly reaches up and softly touches her warm cheek, right in the spot where she could have sworn she felt something... Could have sworn she felt him; Ben.

His force signature seemed to hover near her, a ghost that refused to part and leave her be. She both loved it, and hated it, wishing with all her might that she could have just one moment with him, a silent goodbye at the very least...

Anything at all, to be able to look into his eyes once more.

Again, as it had been since the day it happened, Rey's heart heaved at the thought of not being able to tell Ben how she felt, really only realizing it with certain since she decided to kiss him...

The thought of that touch, so different from when they had touched hands through the bond, makes her skin warm and in return, awakens a need deep within her that first bloomed when her lips touched his.

Sitting in the pilot seat of the Falcon, Rey smiles as she remembers how it played out.

She had died.

She felt it, she knew it, even as it happened while the force drained from her being, leaving her cold and empty on the broken grounds just feet away from the throne that was now rightfully hers.

Even with the chaos and aftermath of the war, surrounded by death and darkness, her last thought had been of Ben, and how he'd shown up to help her... To save her.

In their darkest hour, their bond illuminated the stars around them, giving life, taking life, and protecting them when they had both needed it most.

As the life faded from her, Rey remembered his dark, mesmerizing eyes, how they always seemed to be studying something or someone, and how his gaze always pinned her where she stood, how his eyes always gave him away, and she guessed, that's why he wore his mask.

She remembered the look of his thick, raven-black hair, and how she'd thought of touching it on a few occasions now, of running her fingers through it, similar to how she did her own.

She admired him, in all of his brute, feverishly protective, and beautiful, handsome glory.

To Rey, Ben Solo was so perfect in his imperfect ways, and she loved him for it; Because she, too, was imperfect, and together they created something great and powerful that it seemed to outmaneuver the force itself, and deep within that bond, she nestled herself as she took her last breath.

Rey wasn't sure how long It took, or how long she'd been dead to the galaxy.

But when she came to, when she felt Ben's large palm press against her abdomen and his life force seep into her veins, she first felt shocked.

It was as if she were taking a breath of fresh air for the very first time, and she felt her blood pumping harder and faster, energized with a new degree of the force that overtook her senses, clearing her vision and intensifying every breath she took.

She felt new. And in Ben's arms, she felt whole.

She recalled sitting up, and looking at Ben, seeing nothing but Ben, and being not just grateful for him, but absolutely proud of him and what he had accomplished; Using the force for good, for coming home, for returning to the light all on his own.

Rey wanted to cry then, out of pure happiness and wishing so desperately that Leia and Han could be there to see what he'd done, to see what Ben could do, and not Kylo Ren.

Her hand instinctively reached to his face, her fingers barely touching the wisps of his dark hair, as if she were testing him, to see what was okay and what wasn't, to make sure he was real.

Ben supported it all by letting her be in control, careful to not push too far, to not scare her away, and allowed the affection she gave so freely.

She felt it then, that he was just as scared as she was, and just as desperate for her touch as she was his.

It made her heart glow even more, and on pure instinct, she glanced at his lips and hesitated for a moment, barely second guessing herself before tossing the thought out, and decided to do it anyway.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, touching him, tasting him, and she felt his strong arms catch her and crush her small frame to his, refusing to let her go but careful not to pin her there.

He was gentle, and welcoming, and gave her just as much as she gave him.

And as she pulled away, Rey opened her eyes quickly to catch his reaction, discovering that his eyes remained closed for only a moment longer, savoring the moment for another second.

She was going to kiss him again, that she knew for sure, in the moment.

But he did something she wasn't expecting, something that caught her off guard, and melted her all within the same second; Ben Solo smiled a wide, toothy grin, and the sight made her love him even more.

When was the last time, she wondered, that he had smiled in such a way?

Her heart ached at the thought of his smile being hidden from the world for so long, and the thought of nothing making him so happy.

That's, in the end, all she wanted for him; To be at peace and to be happy, because to Rey, Ben Solo deserved that much.

To the galaxy, he was a monster, even she herself had branded him with the name at one point before she saw the good.

But there were so many parts of him that were good, and they continued to shine through when it came to her, and as she touched his face and admired his grin, she knew she couldn't wait to discover the rest of the galaxy with him, her bonded and other half.

And now, back in the Falcon as she tried to decide her next destination, Rey gulped hard, refusing to replay what had happened next after their first kiss and his handsome smile.

It was always like this though; Remembering the good parts, forgetting about the bad.

Rey's breath grew shaky as she realized it was the exact same process she went with when it came to her parents, and eventually, she had forgotten them, too, until recently.

Now, she knew what her mother and father looked like, and had voices that spoke to her mind, comforting her when the nightmares came...

Thinking back to her life on Jakku, she remembered the countless marks she'd made on the walls of her home, waiting for her family's return, and never going out to find them on her own – So much time wasted, she regretfully thought.

Rey was determined to never do that with Ben; To never be too scared to look for him, to let time waste away until his return to her.

Ben Solo would never be forgotten...

She felt her head shaking already, refusing to accept that her mind would ever do that to Ben, knowing his imprint has been permanently etched into her being, just like the presence he had within the force, something she could still feel reaching out to her.

As if on cue, BB-8 rolled into the cockpit with a loud whirl, greeting her with a welcomed return, and asked where they will be visiting next.

Rey sighed, and the round droid asked if she was okay with a concerned whip.

With a small smile, she answered. "Yes, I'm alright... I just don't know where to go next... I feel lost. I just... I don't know what to do." She said with a small tone.

BB-8 gave a sad, concerned noise before nudging her leg as Rey leaned back against the pilot's seat, thinkingly deeply.

At this point, she was frustrated. Where in the galaxy had she not already searched? She'd followed the signal of his force, answered the call of his ghostly whispers across star after star. She'd traveled to so many places in only a short amount of time, and hadn't even taken a moment to explore.

She was growing desperate, and the fact that she both knew and felt this, planted a seed of doubt and anxiousness deep within her mind and soul with the realization that time was, now, only ticking away.

With a frustrated grunt, Rey abruptly stood and walked down to the kitchenette, taking a place before the counter and gripping the metal until her knuckles grew white.

Behind her, BB-8 rolled to her satchel that lay on the table, extending one of his tools to grab it, however it fell to the ground with a solid 'thud', spilling the contents on the floor.

BB-8 gave an apologetic beep and moved to pick up a sack of berries that spilled from her bag, which were Rey's new favorite snack. The droid rushed to her side and offered them to Rey, who glanced down and couldn't resist the smile that came to her lip.

Leaning down, she gave BB-8 a soft pat on his head and took the berries from him. "Thank you BB-8. These do hit the spot."

Opening the bag, she took one and popped it into her mouth, savoring the sweet taste before placing the bag on the counter and lazily moving to pick up her belongings from the ground.

Kneeling on the floor, she started to shove her things into her satchel, but paused as she came across the Sith dagger that had led her to the wayfinder, and once she was in the possession of it, she vaguely remembered shoving the now useless dagger in her satchel before taking off to Execgol.

Rey's hand hesitated for a long while, frightened of picking it up, of feeling those horrible things it held within its past...

But now, as it lay on the floor of the Falcon, it seemed to shine brighter, and whisper to Rey in its own foreign tongue.

Rey blinked, her mind fighting the seductive pull at first... But it lulled her, enticing her to hold its hilt in her hand, to find the answers she so desperately needed, and before realizing it, her hand was slowly reaching to it, hovering over the weapon as the whispers grew eager and rushed.

Her finger twitched, but in the end, she ignored all red flags and grasped it, silencing all whispers as the dagger grew heavy in her palm.

Blinking rapidly, Rey's senses returned, honing in on the dagger in her hand, turning it over to admire it all as if it were the first time. Surprisingly, the terrible energy wasn't surrounding her this time, in fact, it seemed to be replaced with a tease of a clue to where she should go.

Just as Rey realized this, the claw-like lever on the dagger unleashed itself with a soft 'click', drawing Rey's attention to immediately.

With a timid touch, her index finger traced over it, both confused and mesmerized at how it seemed to be working for her all on its own.

Briefly, she wondered if it was Ben's doing... If maybe he was watching her now, telling her where to go...

But still, she did not have an answer.

With a huff, Rey stood with the dagger still in her hand, facing BB-8.

"BB-8, I need a map."

Excited to be useful, BB-8 complied with a question, 'Of where?'

Tapping the sharp point of the knife to her palm, Rey answered. "Of everything."

( X )

It took hours to sort through, with frustrated grunts and vicious curses along the way.

Rey was now surrounded by holographs of maps, planets and cities near and far. The kitchenette and lounge area of the Milennium Falcon had never looked so full and bright.

With a tilt of his head, BB-8 inquired what their next step should be.

Rey bit her lip as she gripped the dagger in her hand and took a big step back, holding it ahead of herself as she did on the remnants of the death star.

Using the ragged edges of the knife, Rey held out the dagger against the holographic star map, turning in slow circles as she tried her hardest to find a lead to where she should be going, to match the edges with an outline that fit. Her feet moved faster as she lost her patience, her heart racing as she felt herself getting closer.

"Ben... Please..." Rey whispered to herself as she moved.

She went through each planet and system twice, never giving thought to the place she should have checked first.

Catching onto Rey's plan, BB-8 gave a loud, excited chirp as he displayed the piece to the galaxy's map that had gone missing for so long.

Rey turned half-heartedly, her mind still set on the planets to her front. Glancing to the little droid, she shrugged, her eyes barely registering the blue image before turning back to what she was doing.

"No, I've been there, I don't think Ben ha-"

Freezing just as her mind worked, Rey thought for just a moment longer.

Could it be possible?

She wasn't sure... There's no way that...-

Gulping, Rey turned back to BB-8, her eyes slowly drifting to the piece of the map that had been hidden from people for so long, a piece that, at one point, both her and Kylo Ren dueled over.

At first, Rey couldn't believe how simple the answer seemed, and she would have cursed herself for not thinking of it earlier, but she was too shocked to do anything else but slowly raise the edge of the dagger, finding that its ragged, choppy edges fit perfectly with the outline of Ahch-To.

With a breathless gasp, Rey ran to the cockpit of the Falcon and set their destination, the Sith dagger still in hand.

( X )

Back at the Resistance base, a frustrated and eager Finn grunted his impatience as C-3PO wobbled from foot to foot, watching as Finn placed one of the ancient Jedi texts in front of him.

With an excited tone, the golden droid raised his arms into the air. "Oh! What a surprising chapter! The World-Between-Worlds tells of a land within the force that-"

Finn shook his head, closing the book before C-3PO could go any further.

"No, no not that. I need something that can tell me how to move stuff with my mind."

"Oh, but Master Finn, the information min that chapter could potentially be very valuab-"

Dropping another book onto of the table with a loud, vibrating 'thud', Finn gave a curt nod. "Here. Try this one?"

With a hopeless and tired sigh, C-3PO obliged. "Even the Princess wasn't this needy..."

( X )

Author's Notes:

TO AHCH-TO! Next chapter will include Ben!

Also, C-3PO is secretly a Sith Master. Change my MF mind.

Tumblr: VirtualReylo


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